If you’ve ever seen them galloping up and down seemingly sheer rock faces you undoubtedly agree. Grace under snow. I on the other hand hold the banister when I go down stairs.
I personally have always battled with the concept of success. Not so much its definition because I’ve always equated happiness and success. But rather an inability or unwillingness to achieve either because in your mind you do not deserve it. I’ve gone back and forth with the idea numerous times over the years happily to come out on top.
I’m going to be explicitly clear, your belief that you do not deserve to achieve your dreams, that your are unworthy (Wayne and Garth notwithstanding) it is not accurate. This is the only life we have, do not allow your insecurities or self loathing to be a barrier. There will be enough of those with self-imposing more.
This is titled, Peaks, April 9, 2018. Thank you so much!
Apprehension blankets the brain
Seeping down like water will drain
Breathing hard you cling to grasp
The mountain rock as your lungs gasp
The higher up we strive to climb
Serves to increase falling time
The path you take narrower than
A razor’s edge and yet you can
By strength of will you banish doubts
Quiet insipid demon’s shouts
Forever upwards struggle on
Nerves standing firm and fear is gone.
I have been extremely lucky with my friends and family. It would be difficult to consider having a more supportive group behind me. I was always petrified of success because I considered myself a terrible person who cosmically should not be allowed. I was wildly inaccurate on all counts. You can’t live exclusively within your head, I find it’s an inevitable recipe for madness. Obviously I haven’t been able to clear all of the resulting insanity out just yet. Likely a permanent staple of the environment now:) Talk soon!
A broken mind held together by cellophane and some tack.