Aloha dear readers! It is beyond a privilege to make your acquaintances once more. The weather is once more pounding an iron spike through my cerebellum so I’ll likely not bloviate to my usual pompous degree. Lucky you!
As a child I was always terrified of the prospect of our house burning down. At perhaps the age of 7 a house around the corner met such a fate. I didn’t know them directly but they were close to my neighbors with whom I was friendly. There were no casualties other than a cat and 2 goldfish but the experience was somewhat traumatizing nonetheless. For years afterwards I was on edge falling asleep, in fear not really for myself, or even, to be honest, my human family.
The guinea pigs on the other hand were of great concern to me. Humans can formulate their own escape, the pigs were trapped within a cage. I had, what I considered, a pretty solid plan of climbing out onto the low roof outside my bedroom, shimmying down the tree and grabbing them out of the back room.
Over the years the fear gradually dwindled as I found better things to be terrified of. Let’s just say I know what I would have asked the Wizard for given the chance. Likely why I chose the path of addiction over acceptance. You can delay your suffering but it will catch up to you. I imagine the 7-year-old me would gladly have swigged a whiskey or two in return for temporary piece of mind. Faulty initial wiring needed to be retouched. That’s how she goes some times. Way of the road.
Anyway, titled, Embers, April 10, 2018
Threshold burns red from fires within
Soon to travel through walls wafer-thin
Shrill screams echo down halls of smoke
Low to the floor, begin to choke
Crawling towards the anguished shouts
Never to reach them there’s no doubt
Planned escape goes right out of mind
Should anyone remain behind
Frantic searching yields no results
False penance for my perceived faults
At last to lie, cinders and still
Unwritten life, not to fulfill.
Being extremely creative does come with the occasional downside. For instance, when a friend or colleague says something in with a slightly different tone or expression and you start running the gambit of every single potential permutation of what you could have possibly done wrong to cause such a thing. Excellent usage of mental bandwidth:)
Amusingly I don’t think anything ever scared me more than being honest to myself. That however, is a story for another day.
As always your readership is an honor. Aloha.
A broken mind held together by cellophane and some tack.