Not to be the guy who relentlessly goes on about the weather but damn what a sparkling clear day! The immaculately robin’s egg blue sky framed against the deepening green of the near full trees, glorious. Dandelions attempting to gentrify verdant fields with their eager yellow populism. Weeds will inevitably find their way in anywhere given time. The resilience of pests is not to be discounted.

That could not have less to do with today’s discussion. Though there WAS a fly in my house yesterday that was definitely capable of intermittent stealth mode. Aaanyway, a cute little dog related poem for you, regarding one of the unfortunate potential pitfalls of dog or, I suppose, pet ownership.

“Besprayal”, May 17, 2018

Staring deep in the eyes of love

A match made from high up above

Suddenly then it came to pass

An action most horribly crass

As I dole out some belly rubs

To my favorite little chubs

Much like the big bad wolf she blew

Her sneeze into my mouth it flew

Now as I gag across the room

Quake with a sense of quasi-doom

Mouthwash man’s new best friend I think

Trying not to vomit in the sink.

Is it noticeable that the last line has an extra syllable? I feel like it’s not and it just sounds better that way. I’m leaving it!

Ya so that was gross and now I’m vaguely gun-shy when I approach the muzzle. As long as you live as though there is no such thing as an unloaded gun you should be fine in both Worlds. Just never hunt with Dick Cheney.

Thanks so very much, my appreciation for your willingness to spend time “together” is profound. One love!

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: poetry

Tagged as: animals audio brief funny original pets poem poetry writer writing

dreadpoetssobriety

A broken mind held together by cellophane and some tack.