Ahoy! To whom it may concern, please find below words strung in mostly unintelligible patterns. Thank you for your consideration.

I don’t believe anyone is prepared to dispute the statement that the World is a somewhat frightening place. Granted, this isn’t exactly a recent development. At the least, chances are lower that some sort of black-armor-clad knight will cut you down from horseback on your way into the tanning pits. To be fair, given the stench of the tanning process, you may be better off…

I’m blessed to rarely encounter black knights, axe-wielding psychopaths or Mothra(s) and so seek out my frights inorganically. I haven’t always been a fan of the genre. Amusingly, as a youth, I would become frightened to an embarrassing degree. Eventually however, logic won out and I developed a mild obsession with most things macabre. Not to mention your life never seems better than when watching someone else be slowly eviscerated by mutant lazer-badgers. I was going to call today’s piece Bela Lu(ghost)i but even I couldn’t tolerate that so it’s currently untitled until I think of a less vomit-inducing pun.

“Less Vomit Inducing Pun”, May 30, 2018.

A creeping tingle running up your spine

Despite the knowledge all’s perfectly fine

I seek them out so as to terrify

Or not, but at the very least to try

Whether it is film or in written form

A scary story can, will, keep you warm

On those glacial, Winter, lonely nights

You’ll find a friend in horror’s clutching frights

Riotous laughter or a piercing scream

Both caused by internal forces unseen.

I’ve always found that last line fascinating. What makes you scream? Laugh? Generally some sort of external stimulus but I mean the actual mechanisms behind the scenes. Isolating it to a specific region(s) of the brain still doesn’t really explain how or why. Even more confusing, you can provoke both reactions completely from within yourself. The inner workings of the brain remind me of String Theory. Debilitatingly confusing and best left to those more intelligent and in cooler lab coats than I.

Horror can be hilarious. Sometimes you laugh off one of the “scariest movies of all time” others you’re terrified by a movie you’ve ALREADY SEEN.

That’s all folks. Go forth and be exceptional. Remember first to tie your shoes. If you favor slip-ons, please remember something else.

Un Amour!

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: poetry writing

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A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.