Seat belts, everyone! Yes, that was a Magic School Bus reference. Gamification before it was cool. Why make learning tedious when you can trick us simpletons into thinking it’s fun? There is a reason it’s so trendy these days…
For once I’m going to cut to the chase. Just a quirky, brief number today. I’ll share a bit of context afterwards but for now, enjoy!
“A Billion Little Simians”, October 10, 2018.
Those monkeys jumping on the bed
Ignorant notions we all dread
The idea of poor outcomes
Takes time to imprint in brain thrums
Snapped legs or the odd fractured spine
No way diminishes their shine
Mortality and truth of pains
Has yet to link with their live’s chains.
I can still just remember a time before I came to realize that doing reckless things can, and periodically will, lead to some degree of agony. Broken limbs, contusions, pulled muscles or ruptured whatever elses. Kinesiology is difficult enough to pronounce let alone comprehend for a child, that’s why it’s inevitable we all must touch the figurative stove ourselves. Not that you should permit your demented brood to continue bouncing upon the furniture. Realize though that not everything can be taught, some lessons are only taught through experience and, for the most part, pain tops that list. When the model is purely abstract- it holds no greater sway than a 100-year-old Redwood on a windless afternoon.
Why is any of this relevant in any way? How the frack am I supposed to know? I was just thinking about that lame monkey poem and here we are. How progressive though of the mom to take the child monkey to the doctor for a head injury. Concussions weren’t regarded as serious at the time…
Please join us again tomorrow, when Little Ms. Muffet sits on something of far greater lasciviousness than her tuffet. NSFW.
Thank you so much, as always, y’all are the wind beneath my things!
Happy trails and waggy tales!
-Alex Blaikie
dreadpoetssobriety
A broken mind held together by cellophane and some tack.
Love it! There is nothing lame about absconding to artistic precedents (like the monkey allegory).
Jack White did a lovely retelling of this allegory on his album Blunderbuss.
Extra credit for using the word “simian” says this ex-anthro nerd.
What I mean to say is: so glad you made and shared.
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Thanks so much! I am equally pleased to have you, (or anyone for that matter) read it at all!
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Oh, honey – I do love your poems, but your witty comments are my favorite part of the delicious snacks you serve! Dont ever stop! 🙂
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You are far too kind. Thank you so much! I have no intention of doing so.:)
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Wonderful! So glad to hear it! 🙂 Looking forward to more tasties!
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I don’t wanna cause no fuss, but can I buy your magic bus?
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No bus for you!
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Little miss muffet and her flying simians go to the kinesiologist. Jack simian whispers to his pal Jim Simian, “I’d like to NFSW dat ass!” Jim, in all his infinite simian wisdom, replies, “Jack, behave yourself. You know she’s just not into simian love.” To whit Jack chirps, “no whey! Curds I heard she went to two fetes with Spider the chimp last weekend and now she’s got a bad silver back!”
Wow,my hat was bad.
I’m so sorry for the bad pun-ishment. It’s late and I got a huge kick out of your blog and your sense of humor. Thanks for checking out my blog, cancerbus – and I hope you found some of my sick (ahem) humor in between the darker cancer-y stuff.
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Thanks so much for dropping by and crafting such an elegant response. All the best my friend!
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Elegant may be a tad bit of a stretch but I’m very glad I found your writing. There’s a huge need for well crafted verse and poesy in the galactic-sized blogosphere. 🙂
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Dear Dread,
Now look, simians just don’t jump on beds. They don’t have beds. They don’t make beds. They don’t make up beds. Squirrels, on the other hand, don’t have thumbs and don’t wear make up but do, occasionally, jump on beds unless they are the kind which fly, in which case you will find them hanging around in airports. Bats also fly and in airports you find them hanging around in hangers. This brings us to the often asked but seldom answered question, Do girls sound like squirrels when they fall out of bed, or do I just think so when I hit my head?
Yours truly, affectionately and somewhat awesomely,
Lady Bubbles MacCrumpett
490000 Bumber Shoot Road
London, WWNNWSE 2
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