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Economics Pun0Pun

Happy Legalization Day, fellow Canadians! Now, should you so chose, you are free to access the hilariously inept online marketplace, (In Ontario anyway), to pay significantly higher prices for inferior goods. What a time to be alive! Had I never opened an Economics textbook I would likely still be capable of ascertaining that, if the goal is as stated, to curb the profits of “organized” crime, setting a price point well above the existing black market point will yield dismal results. Good work folks.

It may seem as though I’m crustier than an immaculately hollowed-out bread loaf but in fact I’m pleased as punch. As happy as an inanimate liquid contained within a crystalline bowl could possibly be. The government can collect the theoretical profits from a relatively harmful endeavor and the police can focus on matters of actual importance. Win/ win. It will be some time before they adjust their distribution plan but whoever said government moved quickly. I assure you, no one, ever.

Next! Weird poem for you today. A theme I rather like it seems as this isn’t even the second piece now I’ve written on the topic but it’s rather an important one. It certainly was for me anyway. Thank you so much and please enjoy!

“Tame Shame/ Blame to Flame your Game”, October 16, 2018.

More than once we have heard the claim

It’s best to put to rest all shame

Yet here we sit, tiredly dwelling

While inside echoes hateful yelling

You don’t deserve to be content

Sanctions for all our ill intent

The guilt and burden of dark thoughts

Has tied better than us in knots

But guilty mind without the act

Is only evil in abstract

You’re not these thoughts which so torment

That over time rot and ferment

Learn to clean like liver with booze

There’re several techniques to use

Mindfulness paired with exercise

Grants inner peace and ballin’ thighs

At least I find that works for me

Doubtful I’m the minority

So live your life and fuck the rest

Ignore those punks, just do your best.

For real, my legs are Thic. Were I to acquire ice-cream based beverages I would, without a doubt, summon many gentlemen to my lawn. They’re not really that great… I just wanted to say Thic.

From time to time I do still have to shout down the sibilant whispers telling me I’m a dumpster-human and should likely just sabotage my efforts out a perverse sense of vigilante-justice. However, for the most part anyway, such is not the case. Perfection doesn’t exist in any actually achievable form and measuring your goals against it is a surefire recipe for poor self-esteem and general malaise. No matter how sly you may be, it is not reccomended. And I’m not even that sly. Sly-curious perhaps, at best.

I have physio soon, 4:20 to be specific. Sweet irony. I shall, therefore, take my leave.

Anyone who was actually expecting something vaguely pornographic in relation to Ms. Muffet, I did promise so I’ll throw it on the back burner and see what I can do. 🙂

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales!

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: poetry writing

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A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

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