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“Broken Cursing”

Today’s post is dedicated to a singular purpose. No intro, must be serious. Yes and no… There was until recently a very specific mental block against which I did battle to rare avail. An oversold cliché to which I had opted out. Enough preamble, let’s do this!

How many times have you been told you need to “love yourself”. Whether it’s, first”, “exclusively”, or perhaps “making… to”, that platitude has latitude. That’s supposed to imply it’s everywhere. Here’s the problem… what if you’re a dumpster fire, ass weasel of a person? For many, particularly of the DFAW varietal, that is of little or no regard. I’ve always been struck down however by these ludicrous notions of honor and morality. What a fucking con job. How then can I reconcile my ass-weasel nature with loving myself? I couldn’t so didn’t, then eventually stopped trying or thinking about it.

But here’s the thing. All of these character flaws, negative learned behaviors, downright prickishness and then some, THAT’S NOT WHO YOU ARE! Those are layers built on top on the base structure and the wonderfully paradoxical, freaking Chinese finger-cuff secret of it all, is that until you do love what I’m apparently referring to as your “base structure” you’re never going to be able to successfully tackle ANY of the other things you hate so much! It’s crazy.

Pick a few character traits about yourself you actually like and go from there. As a “naked” human essence I favor my sense of humor, I am occasionally capable of respectable insights, I’m generous… Focus on yours, forgive yourself your less savory err… predilections and allow the love you so easily share with others to trickle upon your own parched soul. Seriously, it’s pretty nice.

Now the craziest part, immediately upon finally shaking free those insidious shackles I noticed a marked change in the World around me. Romance is suddenly everywhere and not in any depressing manner. Work is, for the most part, light-hearted and rather enjoyable. I’m not isolating like always in the past, it was by choice but I just never wanted to be around people. It’s like, you hate yourself, so why the fuck would anyone else want to hang around. Whether you acknowledge that thought or not. I never cared to. 🙂

Honestly, this is considerably more than I ever intended to share on this or any platform but hopefully others can appreciate or perhaps learn from the lessons I determinedly chose to scratch out on my own. Not the Dr. recommended method! I assume, I never consulted a physician for ths article.

That is all!

Be kind to friends, to strangers and enemies, but most importantly, be kind to yourselves. You’ll thank you later.

-Alexander Blaikie

Categories: poetry writing

Tagged as:

dreadpoetssobriety

A broken mind held together by cellophane and some tack.

3 replies

  1. From something I wrote back in 2006:
    Do not treat strangers
    More gently than you treat yourself.
    Remember to show yourself the same kindness
    That you would routinely give to others.

    Loving your “base self” is a great way of explaining it!

    Liked by 1 person

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