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What do dentists and U.S border security share in common? 

Both are on the hunt for cavities and both consider their jobs considerably less laborious should their clientele be pearly white. 

Ya, that’s a big oof.  

Anyway, how has everyone been? I know it’s been a minute but I’m out in the World exploring and making mistakes. What could be better for a generally confused young person seeking inspiration? Now that they’ve shut the opium dens and whorehouses anyway!

Question; Sunny D, if it’s supposedly all the kids favourite, why on the commercial is it always in the very back of the fridge? They have to pass by the “Cola” and “Purple Drink” every time before striking gold, what gives Sunny D?

Today’s “art” is an especially inane and nauseating mishmash of the ultra-bizarre. No, not a jackalope emporium, that’s next week, rather a poem that is so desperately on the edge of any sense let alone sensibility that the oddest part is likely my willingness to claim ownership:)

“Cray-Z-C’s”, June 25, 2019.

Vacuous tentaculous

Mirror-clear calculus 

Impractical compactible 

Abstract contact refractable 

Vision incision decision revision 

Collision provision recision derision

Now you know your cray z c’s

Next time less insane now, please.

With the sole exception that “tentaculous” is not a word and therefore rhymes only with orange, at least the scheme is relatively consistent. Why even use it then? Excellent question.

It was actually quite entertaining coming up with everything I could think of for each rhyme and attempting to string them together in some vaguely cordant manner. Why is discordant a word but cordant is not? I’m just doing whatever the hell I want here apparently.

Bonus points will be given to those who remark that if you sing each line quickly in your head as though they are the individual stanzas in the source material it actually fits the meter perfectly. This was not an initial point of focus but once noticed was exploited for my own amusement.

That’s all for me folks, may your spirits wander joyously forever through the valley of puppies and rainbows. Not to be confused with “the valley of the shadow of puppies and rainbows of death”. Happens more often than you’d think. Farewell!

-Alexander Blaikie

Categories: poetry writing

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A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

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