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Zero Divided

Salutations! To the dog’s pouty chagrin, instead of embarking on the 3rd walk of our still relatively new day- you and I can embark on a journey of a different sort. Full disclosure, we will be burning a sum total of zero calories, I claim no mental health benefits, and the overwhelming likelihood is that we won’t run into anyone we know for a haphazard pandemic yell from across the street. That said, let’s venture nevertheless, I don’t care for the looks of that tall grass yonder.

I’m actually quite happy with today’s piece so let’s save the remaining drivel pour après-ski. Because it’s all downhill from here, har har. Why does, “downhill”, as an expression seem both good and bad? Like downhill on a graph is bad, but downhill on a bicycle is good. It’s worse than flammable and inflammable meaning the same thing. Possibly less dangerous though.


“A Spell”, May 15, 2021.

Enchanted mercy self-applied 

Rising up still debris crusted 

A past deservedly decried

But most voices can’t be trusted

Chill whispers down the spine enchant 

Dusky sorcery confounds mind 

While chorus of hundreds incant 

And summoned arcane vestments bind 

Cruelly snatched during ascension 

Already lagging far behind 

Struck down by some vague pretension 

Crazed future-history combined 

The closing circle self-defines 

Beginning to a mortal close 

Independent our true designs 

Or pretty fates in petty prose 

Still unchanged eternal dictum 

One can endlessly start anew 

Never condone any victim 

To bid the best demons adieu.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-First of all, there are seemingly about a dozen ways to pronounce, “adieu”, so we’re just going to go ahead and select the one which rhymes accordingly, if you would be so kind.

Another point, why are people always so concerned with their “worst demons”? Would not the better or even best demons represent the superior threat? Remember the program, “Worst Witch”, my girl was not a very good witch, dig? Maybe her skills progressed through the series, I’ll never know, presumably however should that be the case they come up with a less inaccurate moniker? I’m just overflowing with vital queries today.

Fun story, I originally had this titled, “Beast Infection”, which is hilarious though gross and makes too much of a joke from what I considered as a relatively deep and meaningful poem. Still fucking funny though.

Thank you, as always for reading, liking, commenting, sharing, donating, sending good thoughts, picking up litter, being nice to kids and everyone else, choosing positivity and being true to yourselves. Or at least not lying about anything too important.

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales,

Alex Blaikie

Categories: comedy original poetry writing

Tagged as:


A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

2 replies

  1. I laughed out loud several times during this poem, thoroughly enjoyed the rhyme (and not) scheme throughout, and was encouraged to think deeply about several phrases and ideas within.

    Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

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