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For Whom the Bell Trolls

Hey Pals and Palominos! Analytics says a significant fraction of my readership is made up of horses. It’s been a hot minute, pun intended, as it’s about 9000 degrees in Ontario these days, Celsius or Fahrenheit, doesn’t really matter, it’s damn hot. I’ve been hyper-focused on other somehow even more important priorities than our precious shared banality. Alas, let’s not exclusively talk when I finally call about how I never call. 🙂

Proprietary thinking: you know how heterosexual girls always say all the good guys they meet are gay, and we gays say essentially the opposite? What if both factions kept a list of all those individuals and met once a year to exchange said notes? Other than the dire privacy and about 47 other regulatory problems with this concept it works wonderfully as a model. Like models always do. Will there be models on the lists? A model of models? Fascinating. With all apologies to the lesbian delegation.

Moving on, let’s get to the rest of the words. I even arranged them all nice like for y’all.

“The Passed”, July 25, 2021.

Nostalgia’s a golden lie

Pure lead below the shine   

False burnish, a useless dye 

A true misguided sign  

Desire for former days 

Is common to us all 

But exist few quicker ways 

To craft a bruising pall 

The reality of time 

Forget less joy than strife 

Disregard arduous climb 

And stroll down edge’s knife 

Nothing was ever perfect 

Even if it seems now 

Trials and most ugly conflict

Just mist far beyond prow 

Really this very second  

It’s all we’ll ever get 

So don’t ever be beckoned 

By past already set.

For the record, the way in which our brain prioritizes happy memories and dulls the more traumatic ones is hardly useless, if anything it seems rather essential so that we carry on the species. That’s not what I’m talking about when we consider nostalgia. Whether it’s for the good times that were actually bad or the good times that now appear extraordinary I’ve found it mostly a fake friend. Bending our realties to falsely idealize our pasts at the expense of our present(s). Jerk move. I’m all about the mindfulness and living in the moment these days, even if that moment happens to be unpleasant. The more unpleasant the more it has to teach you, and in that regard I’m so incredibly poorly educated. If we never feel bad we never feel good, and comfortably numb is not actually a thing outside of The Wall. It’s just regular numb and it only lasts so long. So, flee not your discomfort, embrace it and watch amazed as it becomes your bitch.

That’s our lecture today folks, thanks so much for joining us. Please, be nice to your neighbors, and more importantly, be kind to yourselves. For first we must remove the plank from our own eye, such that we can see clearly to remove the sliver from our brother’s.

A bible quote? Really? Actually plenty of good stuff in there, it’s the people reading it who are fucked. Or should I say not reading it? What do I know, I am but a humble abomination. Hopefully that’s the first step to becoming a dope snow monster though. Why can’t an elf be a dentist? Obviously they don’t have proper healthcare. Clearly Santa is running an illegal sweatshop. No wonder it’s in the North Pole, it’s like international waters. Hermione was on point with the elf union.

Thank you again and be blessed, you are worthy!

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: comedy poem poetry

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A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

6 replies

  1. Alex, I fucking love you! I’ve recently embraced my inner me, as dark and twisted as she is, she is me. No getting around it, no hiding it, no ignoring it, no faking it, just let it be, me. I so appreciate your wit and humor and take on life. I really especially loved when you wrote: So, flee not your discomfort, embrace it and watch amazed as it becomes your bitch. Oh yes, loved it! 🖤~Kris

    Liked by 1 person

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