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Under My (Pen)Umbrella

Good day, fine people! It’s been a minute, no doubt there, but I’ve missed you terribly and am thrilled to be back. With a fresh stack of material as well. New shirts, for instance, polyester blends and such. I’d like to say I was just coasting like the affluent part of California but more truthfully I was dealing with some issues, also like California, but the inland regions. That’s life though isn’t it, when has progress ever been linear? Not mine anyway. All I know is the most important thing is to keep trying, every single day. One foot in front of the other, one page at a time, one bite, one step. One life is all we have and it only takes one moment for everything to change. In either direction. So be ever grateful for what is had and eternally hopeful for what may be. Thank you for attending my TED Talk. (T.his E.gotistical D.idact). Patent not pending.

So… today’s poem is one which I’m actually rather fond of, so let’s not dally further. Ladies, gentlemen and others, please enjoy.

“PenUmbrella” November 15, 2021. 

Concealed in protective shell 

We weather out the storm 

Until its final death knell

When all’s ragged and torn 

Stepping out beyond threshold 

In devastation’s wake 

Left to let events unfold 

And give what we could take 

Extend a most sincere hand 

To those who’d otherwise 

Face capricious reprimand 

Suffering amortize

Be the change and beyond that 

Help others ‘long the path 

Disarm arbitrary spat 

Quench false, unbidden wrath 

When we reach out and offer 

Most pure and sincere aid 

Inevitably proffer 

Euphoria parade. 

First of all, who doesn’t like a parade? Unless of course the location one must reach, work, for instance, is on the opposite side of the route. In which case you’re undeniably screwed. Later than a west coast baseball game in an East coast market will you be.

An obvious wee Gandhi appropriation of course. I always thought I was so clever thinking of modifying this classic to “be the strange”, but it was definitely already taken. Even having thought of it 15 years ago I doubt it was an original idea even then. Nothing new under the sun they say. From now on I’m writing/ thinking exclusively at night.

It’s less kosher now but I swear I also came up with the not-so-appropriate joke, “hoist by one’s own retard”. It was 2004, a different time really. Regardless, the joke was used on the show Veep by Julia Louis-Dreyfuss years later. I should be flattered really, demonstrates I could one day belong in an HBO comedy writing circle. Hoist my ego why don’t ya 😉

That’s all for me, my friends. Thank you so much for reading and we’ll talk soon. May you all be blessed beyond your wildest imaginations! Be that strange, help where others would hurt, love when hate may be called for, be kind and be well.

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales,

With great affection,

Alex Blaikie (he/him)

Categories: comedy poem poetry

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A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

3 replies

  1. Nice to know that me “being the strange” it also filling your bucket too. Not to be mixed up with Bellatrix Lastrange. Little too strange for me. Happy tails 🐕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Virtually all rhyming poetry I’ve read in this blogging universe has been drivel or next-to-drivel. This was good. Thank you, sir, for that, and for the linguistic limbo you take me through with each of your posts.

    Liked by 2 people

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