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“Drouning”

Welcome back again my friends, to the show that technically never began and, therefore definitionally, never ends.

Lovely to see everyone here today! C. Thank you, you’ve now been seen.

Off to a good start, no? Anyway, sorry it’s been a minute, the world has me more nonplussed these days than an elementary student’s forgotten maths homework. And it was exclusively sums. The homework that is, not the world. Though the world is a sum of another kind, perhaps zero. That alluded to we’re going to focus on silly things and dismiss the house burning down for these hallowed ten seconds of our day.

Ready? Go! No, “Set”, I have an aversion to Egyptian deities.

We’ve all heard of someone or thing being, “renowned”, indubitably an honour. However, is ever a thing just, “nowned”? Like a sort of champion of the common citizen? Could an up-and-comer be considered, “prenowned”? If you lost your esteemed status are you deemed to have been, “denowned”? For instance, were I vaporized in a nuclear event, I’ve likely been, “denouned”, (no longer a person place or thing, seemingly), but, and stay with me here, were I previously held in high regard AND were, in fact, responsible for the aforementioned nuclear incident, would I also be, “denowned”? A double-deno(u/w)ning. Starting to look like an algebraic equation but I understand Double D’s are held in some regard? Or at least held? I’ll take it.

Moving on, sort of, if you’re an extremely prestigious small town or village are you “weenowned”? Ok, so I have one of these for basically every “e” sounding letter but I’ll spare you the rest. They only get better by which I mean worse…

Should the nouning occur in the ocean, for instance, an epic cruise ship performer, are you “seanowned”!? Sorry, I’m done.

Today’s poem is fun because I first wrote it months ago and it sat in my folder where I would glare at it impetuously from time to time. Balefully surveying its mediocrity at great shortth. That’s a word. No, don’t look it up. Eventually, not too long ago I decided to completely rewrite it and now I’m almost happy with the results. And almost happy for me is, I’m told, rapturously euphoric for others. Not that I’m evoking such sentiments just that my own are subpar. And not like in golf. But let’s drive.

If you’re an epic sapling, are you, “treenowned”? I’m so sorry.


“Cisco Inferno” Nov. 26, 2021/ June 29/2022.

There is a tiny spark

Which glows deeply inside 

Minuscule demure flame 

Here it is we reside 

Possibly it kindles

Or just to fade and die 

Maybe mildly dwindles

Fickle flickering’s sly 

So shield from hectic gale

And guard of easy breeze 

Lest go forever stale 

With far too passive ease 

Thus we justly struggle  

To keep any flare lit 

Crucial soulful juggle 

Crackling, determined spit 

Ignite furious roar  

Protective lasting blaze 

Enflame internal core   

To last now joyous days. 


For the record, a Cisco is an extremely cold water fish. It’s not a great pun but I’m warming to it.

Fun fact, apparently the battle between “inflame” and “enflame” has gone on for centuries though since approximately the 15th, inflame has been the more approved variation. Well, I thought enflame looked and sounded better so, nah nah literary conventions. I bite my thumb at you. Many thanks to The Bard for the inspiration with the flouting and the biting. Generally, I prefer to bite before I flout but needs must.

Good lord the autocorrect is wreaking havoc on all my non-word words here. Going to have to proofread this twice extra just to make sure they are all still spelled incorrectly. Now that’s fooking irony!

And with that ludicrous utterance, I bid you all farewell once more. Wherever you are, may you be safe always and happy as often as possible.

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales!

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: comedy funny new original philosophy poem poetry writing

Tagged as:

dReadpoetssobriety

A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

2 replies

  1. Thank you for sharing this. I am feeling in a funk today, but this has brightened my spirits a bit – both your nounings and the pretty itself!

    Thank you once again, I hope you are keeping as best as can be. Peace to you and yours. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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