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Flaw and Disorder

Happy Sunday! Thank you for attending the congregation of reticent humanity. I think it’s like the Unitarians but more gaudy, less God. Frocked if I know. I asked a Deacon but it turns out they were just a Democrat from Connecticut. The resident D-Phil was even less practical. Terrible opening complete! Moving on! And yes Grammarly, I know “gaudier” is the correct term but it proves vexatious to the artistry so leave me be!

I had a (for me) amusing chat with a friend last night. We were watching a baseball game where a pitcher named “Bass” was throwing and reminisced about other lucky people we’ve encountered with fishy last names. Headmaster Sturgeon from the MacDonald Hall series featured prominently in my mind, while he suggested a “Mr. Salmon” would be of significant amusement. I’ve never had the good fortune to meet The Salmons but was henceforth humming “Mr. Sandman” in my head for the remainder of the evening. Naturally, I couldn’t avoid crafting my own lyrics to suit the scenario and here we are… the first lines were ad-libbed at the time and I thought them rather clever, alas. Underappreciated in my own time, the mark of the true artiste. *deadpan emoji*


Mr. Salmonnnnn,

Swim up that stream

Bom bom bom bom

Avoid those grizzlies

Cute as they may seem

Bom bom bom bom

Flip those flippers

Voyage almost over

Until next season

You intrepid roverrrrrrr…


I suppose swimming upstream is simply an activity with which I can relate.

Anyway, that was trapped in my head with greater tenacity than those captured by the grizzly’s death-trap maw. Perhaps now I am free. Only time will tell, as it always does. Time ever being the great tattler of the universe. What an asshole!

Don’t worry, I’ll provide some actual “art” below. Wouldn’t dream of counting that rewrite as the center piece. Even were it the cutest that I’ve ever seen. You can also blame the Halloween movie series I rewatched some of recently for also featuring the tune. Who needs a knife to cause inescapable brutality? 🙂

Said brutality aside, considering I only wrote this next item mid-week I’m relatively content. Perhaps being so well versed on the discussion points it needed less reworking or even less likely maybe I’ve finally internalized its unusually essential message. Still, one imagines luck as the more likely culprit. Luck and time, stuck and slime, rapture/ rhyme, phantom chime, soda water with lime, to stop on a dime.


“A Perfect Paradox”, August 31, 2022.

The problem with perfection’s 

That it’s rarely meant to be 

And pathway for abjection 

Is now so much more likely 

If a venture’s discarded   

Due to fear of falling short 

You’re like to be bombarded 

At self-trial, cerebral court 

Objectively it’s easy 

Progress is the only path 

But still may be left queasy 

And stuck verifying math 

Unclench palms and accept fate 

Even best are at times worst 

Far better to arrive late 

Then never at all and cursed. 


The annoying truth is that if we await perfection either in circumstance or in a work or project, nothing will or would ever be accomplished. There is no perfect and it’s all subjective anyway. What’s “perfect” to me will disgusting and heretical to others. Do what makes you happy, put something on the page or whatever your page may be and refine from there as needs must if they even do. By all means, hold yourself to a high standard but don’t be beaten down by it. YOU hold it, don’t let IT hold you down. In the unbelievably sagacious words of the esteemed Brandon Sanderson, “Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination”. In fact…


“The most important words a man can say are, “I will do better.” These are not the most important words any man can say. I am a man, and they are what I needed to say.

The ancient code of the Knights Radiant says “journey before destination.” Some may call it a simple platitude, but it is far more. A journey will have pain and failure. It is not only the steps forward that we must accept. It is the stumbles. The trials. The knowledge that we will fail. That we will hurt those around us.

But if we stop, if we accept the person we are when we fall, the journey ends. That failure becomes our destination. To love the journey is to accept no such end. I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one.

I’m certain some will feel threatened by this record. Some few may feel liberated. Most will simply feel that it should not exist. I needed to write it anyway.”

Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer (The Stormlight Archives, Book 3)


I’ll never compete with that nor do I feel the need to, thanks in part to those very words.

With that leave is to be taken, thank you so very much for attending today’s lecture. You are all a blessing far in excess of my ability to describe. May peace be your constant companion and love always your finest friend.

Happy Trails and Waggy Tales, my dear companions.

-Alex Blaikie

Categories: author comedy funny new original philosophy poem poetry writing

Tagged as:

dReadpoetssobriety

A fractured mind held together by cellophane and some used tack.

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