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Good day esteemed quarantine questors, another riveting lockdown edition from your 5th least favourite cometry hocker. Thanks for voting. An entertaining composition today, for me anyway. This piece has lived in the file since the summer as initially it was an embarrassing catharsis, not the pithy mirth of its current […]

Folie à Duh

Good day fellows, fellas, felines and felicitous ferns! I’ve been sitting on the titular pun for near a month now and when it could it ever be considered more salient? An easily distinguishable mass delusion (from the outside) shared by more than two individuals or in this instance millions of […]

Is Anybody Doubt There?

Greetings sharks and minnows, thank you for bellying up to my chump-rhyme chum line. We’re gonna need a bigger moat. It’s my understanding we know more about our moon and adjacent planets than about the mindboggling depths of our own oceans. In the end perhaps that’s unsurprising, everyone looks up […]

Stairway To Leaven

Good day friends and whoever else. Apologies it’s taken me so long to waste more of your time. My amateur’s badger wrestling wrangler conglomerate is going, as expected, very poorly. The badgers can’t seem to grasp the finer points of blade work, let alone the graceful nuance of the sabre […]


*Please note, this post may be recorded for training and quality assurance purposes. Likely not though. Good day, dear pancakes and waffles, may you all frolic endlessly in the golden syrup fields. Remaining forever drenched but never soggy, your best, complex carbohydrate lives. Alright let’s progress to something even less […]